My spiritual wife

'For the last year and a half my wife has gone completely spiritual. We subscribe to publications like the Mindful Magazine, she reads tarot cards and she idolizes creepy health gurus like David A. Wolfe. She tells me we're soul mates, but I have no affinity whatsoever with this type of characterizations. You know, I used to be a scholar. In my opinion my partner uncritically follows the hip herd of anti-vaxers and highly sensitive people. She's ripped off by pseudo-experts and quacks. We have arguments over it on a regular bases. Now she insists that I accompany her to tantra meetings to work on our sexual energy. For me, that's the bloody limit. I consider a divorce. What would you do?'

Let her keep her religion to herself
'I can vividly imagine that you are considering a break up. Such soaring would make me itch, too. New age is just like a religion. Perfectly fine, as long as you don't bother anyone else with it. Unfortunately, she clearly does so by trying to involve you. It doesn't matter how good her intentions may be. I believe you've already made it quite clear that you don't like it. Yet she takes it a step further, with something very intimate between you two: sex. She clearly doesn't respect your opinion. How spiritual is that? I would confront her with that discrepancy. If she isn't susceptible to your reasoning, I would break up the soonest.' – Mirte


Be more open to something new
'Your wife is clearly more open to new experiences than you. As a scholar you believe everything can be explained rationally, but that is not the case. Reality is complex and does have a spiritual dimension. Because your partner has already gained these insights, you are now growing apart. That is annoying and painful, for both of you. Try to really listen to her story. What exactly is she experiencing? What did she find was missing before? She may be your soul mate indeed and in this capacity help you to develop the nonrational side of yourself. How vulnerable do you dare to be?' - Kimberley


Find the trigger
'Was there a special reason that made her resort to spirituality? Did something happen, does she have to process emotional pain? If that's the case, it may be easier to understand her changed behavior and attitude.' – Thea


What would you do?



© Hertalez